I’ve been battling some kind of low-grade illness for years without being able to make any progress forward. Basically, I’ve just felt sick and tired for month after month after month.
I’ve been to a variety of doctors who all tell me that my test results are all “basically normal”, meaning some are on the high/low end of normal, but pretty much in range. To me that sounds like something is out of balance and needs attention, but if you fall within the arbitrary range, there’s nothing the doctor can do for you.
Of course, there’s also the familiar fat girl story where the doctor tells you to go home and lose some weight and you’ll start to feel better. Eventually I got tired of that and decided to do something about it.
I was back on a diet! I even took a job with a pet-sitter friend so I would be forced (FORCED!) to walk dogs every day and get my exercise. So there I was, starving, walking 4-5 miles a day with dogs and my weight was mostly staying the same. HUH?!?!
What did start to happen was that the low grade pain I had in my hips and back started to get much, much worse. I was pushing myself physically, mentally and leaving very little time for self-care in my day. I was just getting sicker and sicker.
I had to leave that job after about 2 years, but I was newly focused on figuring out what was wrong with me and how to correct it. I had my doctor give me all kinds of tests to figure out what was wrong. We tested for brain tumors and disorders that might cause my symptoms, but everything kept coming back normal.
It is quite an unusual experience to find yourself hoping you have a brain tumor so they can at least have something to work on. 🙂 I didn’t have a tumor, but while we were chasing the high cortisol and calcium levels when we found some nodules on my thyroid.
It was my para-thyroid and 2 of the four nodules were enlarged. I hit the internet to do my research and read pages and pages of posts from people who had the surgery and awoke to be new people, with all their health problems behind them.
I was given a surgeon in Seattle and I was poked, prodded and scheduled for surgery. My surgeon told me not to get my hopes up too high, because some people report no change in symptoms after surgery. Shhh!! Don’t tell me that! I’m hanging onto hope here!
Well, 12 weeks later, I was fully recovered from surgery and felt exactly the same, except for the new scar on my neck. Back to the drawing board.
I continued working with my nutritionist, M, and did what I could to get myself physically well. I was doing yoga, eating whole foods, taking care of myself, getting sleep, not stressing out, etc. But every day I woke up with dread and somehow managed to eek my way through every day.
My doctor was thrilled with my blood test results and despite my reports that I don’t feel any different, she said my blood sugars and other measures looked fantastic. Hmmm.
Several of my well-meaning friends would tell me, “You need to go see my ____________.” (Chiropractor, acupuncturist, massage therapist, doctor, naturopath, shaman, faith healer, pastor, fairy godmother, etc.) But how was that going to be any better than my doctor? What do they know that she doesn’t?
And then, last December, my body had enough. It just stopped functioning and I couldn’t do this any more. It was time to call in more reinforcements.