One of the most interesting things about my recent weight loss is the baffling concept of Body Issues.
My eyes work. My brain is mostly functional and I can see the change in the numbers on the scale. So explain to me why I think it’s perfectly acceptable to put size 3x pants on my size L body.
On laundry day, I keep putting my new shirts into the pile with my husband’s shirts because they seem “too small” to be mine. I have yet to show up for my therapy sessions without J telling me that the pants I’m wearing are still too big for me. I keep trying to buy pants that fit, but my brain keeps telling me that I’m not a size Large.
I do have a couple pairs of pants that are close to the right size, but the body issues seize my brain and take over. I hold them up and say “Nope, those won’t fit.” Then I put them on and look at how they sag a bit in the butt and legs and think, “Hmmm…” But smaller seems wrong.
My husband got one of those helicopter type drones with a video camera for Christmas and we were looking at some video he shot in our front yard while I was gardening. Because we were hanging out at home, I had “comfy clothes” on. But looking at that video, I look like I’ve got on some kind of clown pants and my shirt is barely hanging on to my shoulders. They are clearly too large, but I like them. They feel like me when I’m wearing them.
So, where is the disconnect? Am I not able to see the weight loss? Am I not able to see myself as a smaller person? Do I think I don’t deserve the new, nicer clothes?
I don’t think any of those are exactly the issue, so I just keep on digging around in that messy mind to try to break through these barriers on my way to a better, healthier life.
Please leave a comment and let me know if you face this same kind of struggle and what you’re doing about it.