Tag Archives: inspiration

When Your Troubles Didn’t Happen

troubles

 

“I am an old man and I have known a great many troubles, most of which never happened.”

If you’re anything like me, thinking about this quote may hit a little close to home.  We often make mountains out of those troubling little molehills.  Or we can take a simple little annoyance and decide that our whole lives are over because the local grocery store stopped carrying your favorite coffee creamer.  (Not that the coffee creamer thing actually happened to me. Okay, it did and I freaked out about it and now drive 30 miles round trip to buy it elsewhere. )

The other day I was at a new medical specialist for my initial consultation.  We talked about my symptoms and the tests I’d like done and he ran a few simple tests in the office.  That’s when he said my three new least favorite words – “Everything Looks Normal.”  I actually felt my body physically tense up and that hot feeling when you’re resisting tears.

Now, a “normal person” would be happy and grateful to hear that everything looks normal from a doctor, except I don’t FEEL normal.  I feel like something is seriously wrong and nobody can find anything or give me something I can do to make it feel better.  My frustration at the medical industry and my own long journey to health surged up and I was sure it was all a waste of time and money and effort and…..

Oh, the doctor is still talking?  Oh, you want me to do some other tests and some scans to narrow down some possibilities?  Oh, okay.  If I listened to my immediate reaction, I would have grabbed my coat and fled out of that office.  But taking a breath, noticing that all is not truly lost and realizing that there are still plenty of options, kept me sitting in my chair and got me tuned into listening again.

We really have to watch the stories that we tell ourselves about doom and gloom.  Those things that may seem like The Worst Thing Ever may actually be the door opening to something more in line with the life you actually want to be living.  For example, losing your job is never fun.  Nobody likes to get fired or laid off, but it happens all the time.  Often, looking back on it later, the timing worked out well and you ended up somewhere with better money, better benefits or just a better work environment.  That trouble you thought you had, turned out to be just the thing you needed at that moment.

So, as I work my way from doctor to doctor, trying to find a solution to what ails me, I’m going to try to remember that “Everything looks normal” doesn’t mean the doctor is writing me off as some crazy hypochondriac and that maybe, just maybe, there is a light at the end of this particular tunnel.  Hopefully it’s not an oncoming train. 🙂

Breathe, Don’t Do. Let it go.

Breathe, Don't DoBreathe.  Just inhale, fill your lungs and feel all that air going into your body.  As you let it go, release all that stress and intensity that tells you that your To Do List is the single most important thing in the world.

I think we all struggle with the idea that it’s more important to be doing something than it is to listen to what our bodies need.  I know I’m guilty of this over and over again.  I’m trying to work breaks into my day for my health, but the long To Do List is usually right there to tell me why I don’t have time for a walk outside with the dog.  It almost never says there is time for a nap when I’m tired.

The truth is that very few things are as important as we tell our selves they are.  Sure, dusting needs to happen, but not above all other things.  Sometimes you just need to stop, take a breath and let go of those expectations and demands on your time.

I just heard you saying that you have to go to the grocery store because how will the family eat if you don’t have bread in the house? But how true is that really?  Is your life really hinging on whether or not you have bread?  There aren’t other options?  You can’t just have a picnic on the living room floor for a change?

Often, the stories we tell ourselves is so much more than what is happening in reality.  So just breathe.  And let it go.

Choose Your Food Wisely

quality food
Choose food wisely

The small changes you make to your diet make a huge difference. Just look at the difference between the bay leaves from the traditional store shelf brand and the ones I got from the bulk food department at my natural grocery store.

And surprise! I paid less for the ones from the bulk food department per ounce then I do the ones in the prepackaged container. Just add your own mason jar and a label and you’re all set for cooking healthy meals.

Cooking with quality ingredients is an easy step we all can take to better our diet and our health .

Choose To Be Happy

Be Happy

Choose to be happy. It’s that simple! I’m serious. Why would I lie to you?

Being happy comes down to the thoughts you dwell on in your brain. Do you tend to spend time ruminating about the things that aren’t working for you? Or do you focus on that bright spot in your day that makes you happy?

Look, I know how difficult it can be to break out of that cycle. I was very invested in my misery and all the things that weren’t working in my life. I started trying to find something to be happy about by always having the same item on my list – “My dog loves me.” Some days I’d get lucky and be able to add “The sun came out” or some other desperate grasp for something to be happy about.

But it gets easier. Getting happy is like getting your body in shape. At first you can barely walk to the end of the block without your shins screaming at you, but it gets a little easier if you just keep doing it. Some days it will be harder than others, but just keep trying.

Many popular programs will suggest a gratitude journal to get you focused on the positive aspects of your life. I’m sure that will work for many people, but I struggled with the writing part of it. It was enough for me to just take a few minutes at the end of the day for quiet contemplation and reflection. There I would replay my day and look for clues that might indicate some happiness in there somewhere.

After a few weeks I started to notice I was happy more often than I thought I was. I would be sweating my brains out, pulling weeds from the garden and I’d stop to watch a goofy bug crawling out of the way and I’d smile. Something in my brain would trigger a thought to “remember this for my happy moments tonight”. But just noticing the happy moments, instead of noticing the sweat and labor and the WORK in the yard, I’ll carry the smile over that goofy bug. Even if my back starts aching, I can just smile about that shiny little bug and I’m happy again.

It doesn’t seem like it should be that simple, but it is. Just try it.

All Is Perfect

All Is Perfect

The truth is that, although you may not feel like it at the moment, all is perfect right now.

That feeling that things are “wrong” or “imperfect” is just your brain telling you stories about the things you lack and the things that aren’t ideal. Getting too wrapped up in these stories will convince you time and again that life is a struggle and a fight to get the bare minimum you need to get by.

If you can stop and see the perfect parts of this very moment, you develop a sense of gratitude and grace for what is.

Pema Chodron talks a lot in her book, “When Things Fall Apart” about accepting what is. This was an extremely difficult concept for me at first.

It seemed like I was being told that I had to like something that I didn’t want to like. I have pain. I experience sickness. I have challenges and things I wish were different. What is there to accept about that? Well, is it happening? Is it true? Well, then accept it and embrace what is.

That doesn’t mean you can’t work to change the things that are less than desirable. You just have to accept that this is what is happening right now and once you can learn to accept that and stop the constant struggle against what is, you will find that feeling of Perfect. Embrace that. It’s a much better place to spend your time than in focusing on what is wrong and needs to be controlled or changed or adapted.

Life doesn’t have to be as much of a struggle as we make it. Perfect can be elusive until you realize what it really means. It isn’t an ideal existence where there is no pain, no struggle, no difficulty. It’s just things running along as planned by something much larger than yourself. Once you let go of trying to control the outcome of all things, you will be able to unclench and move through these challenges in life with a bit more ease.

Practice Being Awesome!

awesome

 

Isn’t this picture fantastic?  And so true!

It’s so much better to be awesome than to be cool.  Being cool is based on an external set of values held about you by other people.  Awesome comes from within.

You’re fully embracing that awesome when you are being your True Self – in the moment and doing the things that make your heart feel full of joy.

I challenge you to create some room in your day to practice your awesome.  It’s worth it!

When All Else Fails, Just Let It Go

Let It Go, Tomorrow Is A New Day
Let It Co

I love this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Let it go. Forget about it. What’s done is done. It’s a reminder that the mistakes you might have made yesterday no longer matter. In addition, you can’t worry about mistakes you might make tomorrow as they are also part of your journey.

The only thing you can really influence is the decisions you are making right now, in this exact moment. The rest is all just mind games. Really. It’s true.

Just keep your head up and keep moving forward. You are already on your way.

Why BeingUndone?

Probably a good place to start, right? There are three elements to why I chose the blog name “Being Undone”.

First, it’s an homage to one of my favorite books, “She’s Come Undone” by Wally Lamb.

I read this quote on the book jacket: “Mine is a story of craving: an unreliable account of lusts and troubles that began, somehow, in 1956 on the day our first television was delivered…”-and I was instantly in love with Delores Price. The book is sometimes poignant, often funny and occasionally a just plain heartbreaking tale of Delores’ journey. As a ‘fat girl’ I could totally identify with her struggles with body image and food, but that’s not the main point of the story. It’s about the deconstruction of all those old family dramas and stories we tell ourselves about them and her struggles to overcome her past. It’s one of those books that stays with you and draws you back time and time again to read the story.

Secondly, I find myself at a point in my own personal journey where it feels like I’m in the middle of that same kind of deconstruction. I’ve spent the last year taking apart my belief systems and daily routines when my body finally had enough and called a time-out. At 46 years of age, I feel like I’m pretty established in my ways. But this process makes you look at what you’re doing and ask yourself “Why?” and “Is this really working for me?” All of the sudden, pieces you thought were set are back in play. It kind of feels like you’re coming apart, or being undone, piece by piece. But in a good way. 😉

Lastly, one of the things I’m starting to learn about this crazy thing called life is that we’re never “there”. There is no finish line. Other than death, I suppose, and I’m no longer in a race to get there. There isn’t any moment in your life when you get to be “done” living and then things get easy and relaxed and you can enjoy life at your leisure. It just doesn’t happen, but so many of us live our lives as if we are racing for the goal line and when we get there, we can finally relax. You’re setting yourself up for failure. The way to live your life is to just be a being, undone and perfect.

More on that in future posts. Thanks for listening!